Kimberly of Clan Mallestone

Whenever Kimberly of Clan Mallestone enters
or attacks for the first time each turn, destroy target noncreature artifact. If you controlled
that artifact, Put a +1/+1 counter on target red creature. It gains haste until end of turn.

"Rocking tits, iron hips, and a hammer swing
the Stonefather himself would call flawless."