Loonibeard, Scourge of the Sea

Islandwalk
Allthestrikes (This creature deals combat damage before creatures with first strike or double strike, before creatures without first strike or double strike. It also deals regular combat damage and damage after creatures without allthestrikes.)
Whenever Loonibeard, Scourge of the Sea attacks, say "Fabulous" in your most pirate-y voice. If you can't, sacrifice Loonibeard.