Slow Nate, House Dad

If you are high, Nate gets +0/+3
If you are drunk, Nate gets +3/+0
If you are inebriated by additional substances, Nate gets +1/+1 for each additional substance
Trapped in the Yap-If you cast a spell with 4 or more lines of text, tap target creature your opponent controls
—
“WHO HAS PRIMARY ALCOHOL RIGHTS IN
THIS HOUSE”